Failing Your New Year's Resolutions & Yourself?

Never forget that your New Year's resolution is designed to make you fail.

Every year, countless individuals including myself, embark on ambitious New Year's resolutions, only to find themselves abandoning them within weeks. It's clear to see how the gyms fill up at the beginning of the year and quickly decline over time.

But what if the problem isn't with you, but with the very nature of these resolutions?

The pitfalls of traditional New Year's resolutions

Traditional resolutions often set us up for failure, I know right? They can be overly ambitious, vague, and lack a concrete plan. This can lead to frustration and self-criticism when we inevitably fall short.

Aren't you hard on yourself enough already? This is especially true for those who are already overworked and striving for unattainable standards.

Ever since having my last child, losing weight has felt like an uphill battle. I’ve tried every diet imaginable—even the extreme ones that left me starving and exhausted. I pushed myself through punishing routines, convinced that suffering was the only way to see results. But in the end, the deprivation and exhaustion broke me, and I found myself right back where I started—physically drained, mentally defeated, and stuck in a cycle I desperately wanted to escape.

Embracing self-care and setting realistic goals

As a dedicated caregiver, it's crucial to redirect some of that nurturing energy towards yourself. Instead of setting grandiose resolutions, focus on small, attainable goals that promote self-care and alleviate stress.

For instance, dedicating time each week to a beloved hobby like pottery can serve as a therapeutic outlet, allowing you to reconnect with your creative side and find joy in the process.

When it came to losing weight, I made a promise to myself: I would speak kindly to my body and set small, achievable goals each week—breaking them down into simple daily wins. At first, it felt like just a mindset shift, but soon, something clicked. I realized I could actually do this. So, I kept going. I lifted heavier, pushed myself to run faster, drank more water, and showed up for myself every single day. And then? The results started showing—not just in the mirror, but in how I felt. It turns out, self-compassion and consistency were the real game-changers all along.

Overcoming perfectionism and practicing self-compassion

The drive for perfection can be overwhelming and counterproductive. It's important to recognize that imperfection is a natural part of the human experience.

By practicing self-compassion and allowing yourself the grace to make mistakes, you can alleviate the pressure that often accompanies New Year's resolutions. Remember, personal growth is a journey, not a destination.

Healing from generational trauma through mindful practices

Addressing deep-seated issues like generational trauma requires patience and intentionality. Incorporating mindful practices such as meditation, journaling, or engaging in creative activities like pottery can facilitate healing and self-discovery. These practices provide a safe space to explore your emotions and begin the process of healing.

Rediscovering your unique self and embracing individuality

In the pursuit of pleasing others, it's easy to lose sight of who you truly are. Take time to explore activities that resonate with your authentic self, even if they seem unconventional.

Embracing your "weird" and unique qualities can be incredibly liberating and contribute to a more fulfilling life.

An alternative solution to a New Year's Resolution

Implementing a game-changing approach to personal growth rather than succumbing to the societal pressure of New Year's resolutions, consider adopting a more sustainable approach to personal growth. Set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals that align with your values and current lifestyle. This method fosters a sense of accomplishment and motivates continued progress.

For example, instead of resolving to "exercise more," commit to a 15-minute walk during your lunch break three times a week. This approach not only sets a clear and attainable goal but also integrates seamlessly into your existing routine.

By shifting your perspective and adopting strategies that prioritize self-care, realistic goal-setting, and self-compassion, you can break free from the cycle of failed resolutions. Remember, the journey towards personal growth and happiness is uniquely yours—embrace it with kindness and patience.

Do this with a 12-week plan instead of annually. Most businesses use quarters instead of annually to allow for shorter periods to work towards a goal, analyze the progress, make changes to pivot if needed, and still be successful at the end of the year.

I highly recommend you read the book, the 12-week year, and implement your journey with this free printable. I, did this on January 1, 2025, with three primary goals. One was something I could measure, weight loss. These past 12 weeks, I've exceeded my expectations and proved wrong the limiting beliefs I once had about weight loss. I'm excited about this upcoming quarter!